Before the Big Appointment

I've been such a bad blogger. I'm just too busy and too tired! So I thought I'd go ahead and blog really quickly before I go to the BIG appointment. Not the one where I find out the sex (that's still a long way from now), but the appointment when I find out if I get to graduate from my RE and head back to my regular doctor. This is a day I've been thinking about ever since my very first appointment with my RE when he told me he wanted to see me get to 10 weeks. I'm here!

Overall, I actually feel very good about this. For once, I am 99% confident that this appointment will be a good one. I actually don't have any real doubts that I will see the little Pea beating away. I don't know why I'm so positive. I know I'm farther along than all my other m/c's, so maybe that is it; but even after my 9 week appointment last week, I still didn't feel that good. I still had some doubts. But now they are gone. Am I finally getting used to the idea that I really will be having a baby? I hope so. I'd love to actually feel happy about pregnancy in general, instead of so emotional and so mixed on my feelings.

This may all have to do with my clothes. Not to complain, but they don't fit! I tried on a skirt and a pair of pants this morning that wouldn't even close, before I finally settled for my loose fiiting khaki's that are anything but loose right now. And when I push in my belly (which is always there - pregnancy or not), it's not as squishy anymore. It actually feels like something is there. It actually feels like I'm pregnant!

Symptoms still have not been strong. I know in a couple of weeks I'll be really thankful for that, but up until this point it has been a bit nerve-wracking. The nausea still comes and goes every once in awhile and I still have the bad metal-mouth taste. But the exhaustion has really set in. If I go to bed past 10:00 one night, the next night I'm in bed before 9:00 or I have to take a nap on the couch. And on the weekends I'm just too tired to go anywhere. I know that's typical - I'm just happy to be feeling it finally, because I didn't feel very tired until a couple of weeks ago.

Anyway, overall I feel really good and really positive. I totally expect that in about an hour, I will see my little bean and I will cry tears of joy and I will say goodbye to my RE and call my regular doctor for an appointment. That's what I expect. It's hard for me to portray confidence because I did that with my last pregnancy and of course it ended. So it's scary. But it feels right - it really does.

I'll be back with good news.