Ok, so maybe I don't know everything!

"But I know my body, I know my cycles, and I know the truth in my head. My heart won't let go until the game has been officially called, but in my head, I know the game is over."
-- me, 2 days ago

You would think by now, after TTC for over a year and a half that I would know that nothing is normal and everything is normal when trying to have a baby. Just when you think you have it all figured out, you're thrown a curve ball. I got my curve ball yesterday. After my temp dropped on Monday, I wrote my sad little post about how it was all over this cycle. How could I not think that with a temp dip below the coverline on 13 dpo??? My chart looked nothing like the two other pregnancy cycles I had charted - those were textbook charts with the perfect temperature rise. I was convinced that my next pregnancy chart would be identical.

So after Aunt Flo never showed up as expected on Monday, imagine my surprise to see that my temperature had risen .4 degrees on Tuesday. Still not as high as my other temps, but above the coverline. Huh. That was strange. And then I got my hopes up. Would a temperature drop below the coverline so late and then rise again if you were not pregnant? All day I searched the chart gallery to find other erratic charts that ended with a BFP. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't take my eyes off this ugly, but intriguing chart. I asked everyone I knew what they thought. The most common answer - just POAS (pee on a stick) and be sure one way or another!

I sat through the day at my desk convinced every ten minutes that the feeling I felt was indeed AF arriving. I'd head to the bathroom and just find the creamy CM instead. I recalled this exact feeling last time I found out I was pregnant. That I was convinced it was AF, but instead it was just a lot of cervical fluid. My hopes shot sky high.

By the end of the work day, Aunt Flo was still MIA. So I decided to bite the bullet and buy some HPT's. If my temperature was still above the coverline tomorrow (Wednesday), I would test. That was my recommended test date anyway. So I bought some tests - EPT is my lucky brand even though it only detects high levels, so I bought those and another that measured earlier. By the end of the night, I was convinced I was pregnant. I just knew it. I took my temperature before I went to bed and it was 98.8 - .7 degrees higher than my temp that morning. I figured that meant it was't going to drop below 97.8 (my coverline) in the morning.

I didn't sleep too well. Once the cat woke me at 3:00 by jumping on the bed, I couldn't fall back asleep. I had already been to the bathroom once during the night, so I knew there was still no sign of AF. So I just prayed and laid there in silence, hoping my instincts were true. I finally drifted off after 4:00.

It's the first time in history that I only snoozed my alarm once when it went off (I usually snooze about 5-7 times). As soon as I realized it was test day, I was wide awake. I took my temp even though I didn't get the recommended 3 hours of sleep before it (my temps don't vary much anyway), and it was still a monster 98.8. I went straight to the bathroom, peed in a cup and dipped in two tests, one of each brand. I even watched them change colors, which I never do. I usually cover them and wait the designated 3 minutes. But I couldn't resist because I knew the answer. And I was right. The sensitive test quickly showed a bright pink line. The EPT was also positive, although it was much lighter - as it should have been.

I woke up John and told him the good news. I guess he was as excited as any sleeping man would be at 5:20 in the morning. And now we start this roller coaster ride once again. We're scared, but we're ready.

Thanks to everyone for your fantastic support through this journey so far. I know it's far from over, but I don't think I could have even made it here without each and every one of you. My medical odds of carrying this baby to term may not be ideal, but in my heart, the odds are 100%.

Time to call the doctor. We're in overtime!