Embracing the Positives (at least for now)

Believe it or not, I actually had a good weekend where I didn't dwell on TTC. And today hasn't been so bad either. I'm trying this new take on life where I actually look at all the positives (my husband, my family, my friends, my health, my job, etc.) and realize that I really am lucky. I may not be blessed with a baby (hopefully that's a "yet"), but I do have some amazing things to be thankful for. I know this is a pretty typical outlook for most people, but it's a little new to me. I tend to be a "glass is half empty" type of person.

I'm not crazy. I know this attitude won't last forever, but I'm trying to embrace it while it's here. I remember back in the clomid days when AF showed up I would feel so defeated and I would tell my husband that there was no way I could go through it all again (and this was just clomid!). But then about a week later when I was gearing up to ovulate, I would have a change in heart and go for it again and suck up and deal with all of the doctor's appointments. I finally did give up on clomid, but that's not the point. :)

So today I feel good. I'm truly happy and excited for my pregnant friends, I really am. I'm happy about where my life is now. And I'm excited about the possibility of life changing drastically with the addition of a little one. I still know in my heart that this can happen for us. Now I'm just praying for a CD 14-15 ovulation instead of CD 18 so John will be in town. I seem to alternate each cycle and if the pattern sticks, it should be around CD 14 this time.

I do have to admit though that I have a lot of faith in this cycle, so it will be very disappointing if it doesn't happen. The second cycle of trying is always my luckiest. And then there's the due date thing - my first baby was due in October. My second was due in April. And my third was due in October. If I get pregnant this cycle - it's back to April. I'm not sure if this is really a good thing based on my history, but I'll take it anyway.