All is Calm...

I really have nothing exciting to share at all - which is probably a good thing. At this point, I'm thankful that life and baby are pretty uneventful. I don't need any extra excitement.

Christmas was quiet and nice. Pea got a couple of Christmas gifts from my mom and an adorable newborn pink sleeper and hat from my aunt who was visiting. My mom cried when she opened her "Grandma and Me" picture frame that I gave her. She cries at everything, so I wasn't too surprised, but then she got my aunt and I crying too. The boys just didn't understand, of course.

The nursery still isn't even cleared out. I started it many weeks ago and made a ton of progress, but now the last bits are still in the room, mostly because I don't want to go through it or don't know what to do with it. My new goal is to have it cleared by next Monday (giving me the weekend to do it). I'd really like to order furniture and paint, but I won't let myself do that until I finish clearing out the room. And I don't want to register until I make a final decision on paint and bedding. So everything is riding on me clearing out this room! My MIL has actually offered to help if I need anything done, but if I don't know where to put that crap, she's not going to either!

But I am calm about it. I think when the new year turns I'm going to start thinking that I better start moving on things, but right now 3 1/2 months seems like LOTS of time. Let's see what I think about timing then.

I started playing music to Pea last night. She did give one big kick during it, so I don't know whether she enjoyed it or hated it. I'll pretend she enjoyed it. I've also been reading to her each night before I go to sleep (when I remember!). My cousin read the same story each night to his daughter before she was born, and after she was born, he could recite it and it would comfort her. That's my hope for Pea too.

Happy Holidays to everyone!

The Doctor is Out?

So I'm just not really thrilled about my doctor right now. I started going to him (Dr. L) when I first found out I was pregnant (the first time) because he was recommended and because he was in the medical center. He was very good to me during my first loss, was very supportive, and did my D&C. Everything went fine.

I continued to see him and after the second miscarriage, he commented that he didn't like the dip my chart was doing after ovulation and put me on clomid for a "stronger" ovulation. I was on clomid for 3 months and had great timing and trigger shots and nothing happened. I doubted the clomid, so just went off of it and figured I'd go in for testing soon - and got pregnant two cycles later.

After the 3rd loss, he recommended me to an RE, which is what I wanted. I knew this wasn't his specialty and wanted to go to someone who knew what to do. My RE (Dr. B) was wonderful and I had a great experience with him. He had no concern about the dip in my chart and saw no reason I should have been on clomid. After I made it to the 10 week mark with this pregnancy, I returned to my regular doctor. Dr. B even commented about what a great doctor I was going to (Dr. L).

The problem started at my 16 week appointment. Dr. L advised me to try to gain 1 pound a month for the first 6 months, and then 1 pound a week for the last 3 months. By my calculations, that is only 18-19 pounds. I was not overweight to begin with (although I could always stand to lose about 10 pounds) and I thought this was a little low, but I wasn't too worried. But at 16 weeks, I had gained about 3-4 pounds since my 12 week appointment. Dr. L mentioned this and I blamed my vacation. He commented that since I was no longer on vacation, I should try a little harder.

At my 20 week appointment, I was up another 3 pounds. I was totally stressed out about it, so I mentioned it first. He wasn't thrilled about it and gave me some hints about not putting on too much weight (like avoid carbs - yeah right! - and eating less - hello? I'm always hungry). I was a little frustrated because although I do find myself eating more, I'm not eating really bad things. I usually have an extra piece of fruit or granola bar or something. Or I just eat more of my meal. Dr. L says the more weight you gain, the bigger the baby will be. I've never really heard of that as a concern so early in a pregnancy. And I'm only 5'1" myself, so I don't think I'm going to have a huge baby anyway.

So, before my appointment this week, I was completely stressed out about the weight again. And sure enough, I had gained 4 pounds in just 3 weeks. I know he wasn't happy about this at all, but he didn't mention it. During the appointment, I asked him about constipation (which hey - maybe that is why I weighed so much more this time) and he started to give me some advice. I interrupted him (but not rudely) to mention something and he rudely says "Just listen - I'm not done yet". I thought it was very uncalled for. Also, when we were done with the appointment, I started to say something and he just kept walking out of the room and closed the door. Nice! Maybe he was just having a bad day.

But the thing that frustrated me the most were these two things. First, he asked AGAIN about the folic acid Dr. B put me on and how long Dr. B wanted me to stay on it. He asked me this in my past 2 appointments too, and I replied with the same answer - for the whole pregnancy. Dr. L then proceeded to tell me that he didn't think I needed it anymore since folic acid is used primarily to prevent birth defects. Ok, maybe so - but Dr. B said to stay on it! I told him I had about 2 months left in my prescription and he said "that's fine, but I don't think you need it". He didn't mention this the other two times, why now? Maybe I don't really need it, but why would I go off it if the RE said not to? Uggg.

So the next thing was a little similar. I have a blood disease called Thalassemia. I have known I had this for a long time and it really doesn't cause any problems, although I don't know too much about it. I know it's bad when both parents have it and John doesn't. I do know that many doctors think you are anemic when you have this and I was given iron pills when I was little before they knew I had it because they thought I was anemic. Dr. L knows I have this. Last appointment (20 weeks) he mentioned that I was a little anemic and that my blood levels in September (at 12 weeks) were a little worse when I last got tested in his office in March. But he said that because of the Thalassemia, he didn't want to give me extra iron. Ok.

Well, when I went in last week, I didn't have any new blood tests and he again mentioned I was a little anemic. I said yes, we talked about that last time and you didn't want to give me iron because of the Thalassemia. And he says, "Well, I think I'd like to try the iron pills now". I was a little surprised and probably didn't ask the questions I should have. I'm really confused that if nothing has changed, why does he want me to take iron now when he didn't want me to 3 weeks ago?

Can you tell I'm a little frustrated? I think he's a good doctor and I don't want to change this late in the game. But I was just really put off. Any advice out there in blog-land? Do I just stick it out? I'm just not sure I'm getting the best advice right now. I feel very confident that he will be great with L&D, but I will probably leave him after the baby is born. Not the greatest bedside manner at all!

Bye Baby! (a "good" bye)

So my husband is not the most sentimental person in the world, we all know that. I accept that fact because I know without a doubt that he loves me and would do anything for me. He just can't always express that in words or actions, but he lets me know in other ways. It also makes me appreciate those rare moments where he does show his sensitive side.

I mentioned yesterday that Pea can hear our voices and that he should talk to her. He told me that he wasn't very good at that and that I should do some extra talking for him. That didn't surprise me too much - I know it's hard for a man to talk to his wife's stomach! But in response, he also shouted "Hi baby!". Kind of cute :)

So this morning he was leaving for Austin and I was getting ready for work. He called out to me to tell me he was leaving, so I met him at the top of the stairs for a kiss goodbye. Don't try to picture this because it's a scary image, but I only had on my under garments, so my growing belly was bare. After John kissed me goodbye, he leaned down to my stomach and said "Bye baby! Bye baby!" and gave it three quick kisses. He said "Bye baby" again, gave my stomach another kiss, and then stood up and went back to his normal character and said "are you sure it's baby in there and not just fish and chips?" That's his standard reason as to why my belly is growing after our trip to England where I did consume a large amount of fish and chips!

But the moment couldn't be spoiled by fish and chips. I was glad he couldn't see the tears welling in my eyes - it was just the sweetest moment. I fell in love with my husband all over again.