Beware the Ides of March

Back in high school, a friend and I had a month we always dreaded - April. It seemed like to us that if anything really bad was going to happen, it would be in April. Of course back then something bad meant that your boyfriend broke up with you, or you got in trouble in class, you did bad on a test, etc. But for several years, we always dreaded the month of April. Since that time, April has become a very special month to me. I got married in April, so I always look forward to it now.

But even now, I still have a dreaded month - March. Ever since I've gotten married, I HATE the month of March. For three years, the month of March has brought nothing but bad things. It used to be a great month - my father and my brother were born in March, my beloved lated Nana was born in March, my step father was born in March, my wedding shower and bachelorette party was in March. It was always a happy, celebratory month. But not so anymore.

In March of 2002, the first March where we had been married, my husband had a bad accident at home where he fell off a ladder in the driveway. He broke both bones in his arm at his wrist and had two surgeries and multiple pins and casts. It was pretty bad and he was in the hospital for a couple of days. The next March, 2003, I was checked into the hospital to have a D&C for my first miscarriage. The next March, this year, I was again checked into the hospital for another D&C, after my third miscarriage. March is the month of hospitals now. I dread next March. I don't really consider myself too superstitious of a person, but I know I am a little (don't ever jinx anything at work, I'll get on you for that!). And I just know there will be a hospital visit next March.

So that brings me to now. If I did get pregnant this month and I did carry my baby to term, guess when my due date would be? March. And I'd have to be checked into the hospital to have a baby, right? So that could be a good hospital visit. I know my chances of getting pregnant this month are like 20%, but a girl can dream, right? I know that if I get pregnant later this year and stay pregnant, that next March will be a nightmare for me. I'll always be worrying that something will go wrong. I know that probably sounds pretty stupid to most people, but I can't help it. I think about these things. Ok, I obsess about these things.

Anyway, needless to say, I'm hoping for a March baby. Maybe it will relieve me of this silly superstition about the month of March. April turned around well for me in the long run, so I'm hoping March can too. Of course, March will have to be replaced with another dreaded month. Maybe it should be October - each one seems to make me older!