Ava's Birth Story

After a stressful morning of waiting on Wednesday, the 13th, I finally got a room in the hospital so I could be induced. After calling at 5:30 a.m., 8:00 a.m., 10:00 a.m. and noon, I was told to come right in. Of course even though I had been ready all morning, we still scrambled to get everything together and load the car. We got to the hospital at about 1:00.

We spent the first hour or so just doing paper work and hanging around the room. John was bored and I kept warning him the day would be very boring, as inductions could take a very long time. The doctor also checked me in the first hour and said I was still 2 cm dilated and about 80% effaced. He thought it would take between 12 and 24 hours. The L&D nurse was more optimistic and said I'd have the baby that day, before her shift ended at 10:00.

At about 2:15 p.m., they hooked up the IV and monitors and started the pitocin. I was having some mild contractions I couldn't feel before the pitocin even started, so that was encouraging. At about 3:30 I was checked again, and I was 3 cm dilated. The nurse and my doctor were encouraged that everything was moving along well. And since my doctor was there, he decided to break my water.

This is when things started happening - at least in the pain department. The actual breaking of the water wasn't too bad (except for the constant gushes and feeling like you're soaking the entire bed), but immediately afterwards, the contractions started coming on strong. They were coming about every 3 minutes, and they were painful immediately. I didn't expect that at all. So they started getting ready for the epidural - I don't even remember them asking if I was ready. And at 4:00, after only 30 minutes of painful contractions, I got my epidural. I'm sorry, but the epidural is the only way to go. Within 3 contractions, I could barely feel them anymore. It was wonderful. I felt so much better and it made things so much easier at that point. I couldn't have imagined going much longer without it. That's great that some women do, but not me.

So around 5:30 or so, I got checked again. This time I was at 5 cm, so they felt like everything was going really well and progressing fine. The only concern was that the baby still had not dropped. She was still -2 station - just where she had been for weeks and weeks. So I got checked again around 7:00 - and things weren't so great. I was still 5 cm and -2 station. At that point my doctor told me that he was pretty sure that a c-section was the way to go at this point. We had talked about it so much before anyway, so I wasn't too worried about it. He just didn't think she was going to fit through my pelvis. Even if her head got through, he was worried about her shoulders too. But he decided to just monitor 3 more contractions and see if I was truly in hard labor, and if I was, then we go to the c-section.

After 3 contractions, they saw that I was in hard labor, so they took off the pitocin and we decided to go for the c-section. At about 7:30 I was checked again by the L&D nurse, and lo and behold - I was all of a sudden 7 cm on my own, without the pitocin. But she was pretty sure the baby was still very high. So she called the doctor in again and he confirmed that I was 7 cm (which they thought was weird), but that she was still as high up as before, so we should move forward as planned.

Another woman ended up needing an emergency c-section at that time, so I had to wait a couple of more hours before I could be wheeled into surgery - by then I had John, my Mom and two girlfriends there to keep me company. It was nice because they could all just hang out in my room and we watched the American Idol results to pass the time. At about 9:30, they were ready for me.

I guess the c-section was pretty standard. It was soooo cold in the OR though and I shivered and cried the whole time. I didn't feel that nervous, but I guess I was a little bit. I was just so cold too, and I think that made me cry as well - probably all of the drugs too. John sat and held my hand and I was glad when I asked the doctor behind me if they had started cutting yet and he said they had - I definitely didn't feel it. I knew to wait for a big push on the higher part of my stomach - they said when that happens, they are pushing the baby out through the incision. Soon enough, they told me I was about to feel pressure and they did the big push - shortly after, I heard my baby cry and she was born at 10:14 p.m.

It was hard laying there not seeing and knowing what was going on. They finally cleaned her and then brought her around to a nurse that was on my side of the sheet, so I could at least see the nurse's back and knew my baby was right there. John finally got to watch too. He stood watching the nurse and she told us we had a beautiful baby. John turned to me and nodded and said "yes, she really is". It was the sweetest moment.

After what seemed like an eternity, John was finally able to pick her up and bring her to me - of course I couldn't touch her at that point as I was still being worked on, but I got to see her. She was beautiful. We posed for a picture and then John and I quickly agreed on the name - Ava Day. And then John went out to make the announcement to everyone waiting and to snap nursery pictures while she was being weighed and measured. She was 7 pounds, 6.4 ounces and 20 inches long.

So what had started as a bad day turned into the best day of our lives as our daughter was born. I finally got to hold her around midnight and it was the most precious memory in the world. I couldn't believe she was ours and that she was the little Chickpea that grew in my tummy all this time - and that she was finally here. And that she was perfect. Everything I have ever gone through with infertility and miscarriages was all brought to a sudden end and to an understanding - as my mom's friend said, it just took God awhile to give us the perfect baby.

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

So far today has sucked. I felt pretty confident I would go into the hospital this morning - especially because my doctor was confident about it. So I woke up at 5:00 this morning (not that I slept much anyway) and started getting ready because I knew I needed more time if I had to be there by 7:00 once I called at 5:30. So by 5:30 I was showered and had washed and dried my hair.

I called up L&D at the hospital - too busy to take me yet. Call back at 8:00 for a time. Uggggg! I was so upset. So John and I tried to get more sleep, but that was hard - I got about 30 more minutes. I got out of bed again at 7:00 and went ahead and finished getting ready in case they said to come in right away when I called again.

I called again at 8:00 - still too busy. They said they would call me when they knew what time to tell me. I wasn't satisfied by that so I said "and what time should I call you if I don't hear anything?" And they said 10:00. So now I have another 30 minutes to sit here until my next call. I feel sickly and miserable and tired. It's very depressing.

Why is there so much waiting with pregnancy??? So frustrating. I'm glad they haven't flat out told me "no" regarding today, but I'm still not optimistic I will get in yet. I still have a glimmer of hope though. I just feel like all I will do today is sit by the phone and call every 2 hours just to hear "not yet". I wish Pea would get frustrated too and just decide to start coming on her own - then they have to take me!

That's my whining. I just feel so teased right now. Maybe we didn't have to worry about Pea being born on the 13th after all!

Please send me "admission vibes"!!!

Signs Revisited

Many months ago, I blogged about opening a fortune cookie right before I found out I was pregnant. Inside the cookie was the following fortune:

When the flowers bloom, so will great joy in your life.

Four days after opening that cookie, I found out I was pregnant with Pea and due in the spring. I knew it was a sign. I believe in signs. I'm not totally superstitious or anything, but I definitely felt it was a sign that everything would be ok. It didn't ease my fears or anything, but I saved it for Pea's scrapbook and always remember it.

Yesterday I had another sign. When I was at the doctor's office, he scheduled my induction date and then looked at the calendar and noticed it would be on the 13th. He immediately asked if the 13th was ok with me and if I was superstitious. I really don't care about her being born on the 13th too much (although I didn't want her to be born on a prime number or an odd number - a weird thing about me I can deal with that I just couldn't mention!), so I said it was ok.

When I called John on the way home from the doctor, I mentioned the 13 thing. At first he didn't catch on, but then he started to get weird about it and was wondering if we should change it. But no way was I changing it at that point. It's not like she would actually be born on Friday the 13th. And who knows - we could last until the 14th (although I hope not for my sake). Anyway, we just let it be and decided to go forward with the plans.

Well at lunch time, I went with a couple of friends and we decided to buy lottery tickets afterwards. I felt I needed to anyway because it had been my lucky week so far (winning a raffle for a trip to Steamboat and getting Pea's date scheduled), so I wanted to buy some too. Plus one of the Lotto drawings is on the 13th and I figured I should buy one for that day. I went ahead and also bought a few scratch-off tickets just for fun.

The first scratch-off ticket I scratched was a $1 ticket. I read the instructions and it had one lucky number you scratch and then four other numbers that you try to match to it. So I scratched the lucky number first, and lo and behold - it was 13! I said to my co-worker that I was surely going to win. And guess what? 3 of the 4 other numbers to match were 13's. I won $10 on the ticket! I don't think I'll ever cash it though. I think it's going in the baby book. After that silly scratch-off, I am totally confident that tomorrow is Pea's day.

Funny how the little signs in life can give you so much comfort! I just thought it was a neat story. It even wigged John out a bit!

A Date is Set!

Well, I went to the doctor again today and as expected, no change and no drop! Still dilated 2 cm, still 65% effaced, and still -2 station. Pea hasn't dropped a bit! But I could tell that.

So I was escorted back into Dr. L's office to once again discuss my options since we were now at the 40 week mark (well, one day short). The baby's weight comes into play again. We know she was around 7 pounds last week, but with a gain of 1/2 a pound a week, she could be 8 pounds by next week. Dr. L thinks that I could deliver a 7-pound baby ok, but he has his doubt about anything over 8.

So I had a choice - induce this week or wait to see what happens by next Monday (and then induce if nothing). Let me think about that a second...let's induce! I'm ready. So ready. And John can be here. And it just all works out. So he called the hospital to see if Wednesday or Thursday would be good (he's out tomorrow) and Wednesday was pretty open - only 1 other induction scheduled. So I'm on the list for Wednesday the 13th. If for some reason everyone goes into labor Tuesday night I may not get in, but he doubts it will be an issue. So Pea could be here Wednesday. Yikes!!!!

Dr. L thinks I have about a 50% chance of a c-section, but he'll try to induce and go vaginally first. He doesn't want to just resort to a c-section. I am totally good with that. He promised not to make me go too long if it's not working. So we'll see what happens.

I'm a bit freaked out - in a good way. I'm excited, nervous, happy, scared - everything. All fears are out the window for the moment and I don't even mind the tons of emails and phone calls I've been getting all morning. I have also decided that today is my last day of work. I'm taking tomorrow off as a "relax and last minute planning" day. I really just can't concentrate anyway, so I'll take a vacation day to finish up last minute chores and just rest. My mom decided to take it off too now - she's as useless as I am today.

So that's the scoop! I can't wait - Pea will be in my arms this week. Yeaaaaa!

Two days till DD - still here!

Just dropping in to say that I'm still here! I'm still not showing many signs that it might change in the near future. Pea still seems to be very high by the way I'm carrying her. I had a couple of contractions on Friday night, but they went away almost as fast as they came and I haven't had anything since. I'm totally ok though - I'm much more calm about it and now I actually want to make it to my due date.

Tomorrow is my 40 week (really 39w6d) appointment, so we'll see what Dr. L. has to say about everything. I'll check back in then.

If I do disappear, Carrie is my labor buddy and I'll call her and give her updates on what is going on. So she will have all the details when it's time.

I Am Lucky - but I Still Have Fear

I came to a little bit of a realization yesterday, with the help of my husband. After whining on the phone to him about my bad mood and about being tired of being pregnant, he pointed out that I am getting exactly what I want and I shouldn't complain so much. He didn't have too much sympathy for me (a little, but not much) and I think that's what I needed. I really shouldn't be complaining at this point.

So after more thinking last night, I realized that I'm just still so scared. My body has failed me in 3 other pregnancies, and I'm just not over that. I still worry every day that something can go wrong. When I feel less movement in a day, I still panic a bit and start pushing and shoving my tummy, hoping for a response. Sometimes I get one, sometimes I don't. (Side note - an anterior placenta is not good for a women who needs many movement reassurances!) But at the end of the day, everything always turns out ok, and I know Pea is still in there, alive and well.

I know Pea's birth will bring on a whole new set of worries that I haven't even considered yet. But I think being able to see and touch her will help ease my mind some. If I ever worry about her not moving, I can always poke her and see her squirm. Or watch her breathe. I don't think I'll be that obsessive - we'll see! But I just think I still don't trust my body not to fail me, and I know that even being over 39 weeks doesn't guarantee me a happy ending. Sometimes it's good to be naive! How many times have we all said that?

Anyway, I am feeling much better and not am so miserable. The last few weeks have been a little more uncomfortable, but nothing that I can't handle. I know that physically, this is still nothing compared to what others go through. I still move around pretty well and can handle a full week of work. Sometimes I wish I was confined to the couch so that I didn't have to come into work, but I know this is better in the end. How happy would I be then?

So don't worry about me. Thank you for your hugs and sympathy. It really all helped me to figure out the root of what was causing this. And I just needed to get out of my funk. Now no telling what I'll be like once I'm overdue, but for now, I'm ok.

I'm Ready - Why Isn't She?

Well, I'm back from my 39-week appointment. We went ahead and did the ultrasound as planned, and checked her size. It looks like despite my huge belly growth (up another cm this week to 41), she's not all that big. The doctor estimated she's about 7 pounds 3 ounces right now. Nothing too scary, even for my size.

He did an internal again and I am barely 2 cm dilated and about 65% effaced. But she has not dropped at all. She's still very high. We talked after my exam and the doctor recommended that we not try to induce this week. He felt that with her being so high, it's better to wait and see what happens in a week. He said it can be a difficult induction when the baby is so high. So I will go with his advice and wait.

He did bring up c-sections again. He said that 75% of women drop by their due date. Of the 25% who do not, about 50% of those will end up with a c-section. Most of the time the baby just won't fit. So he's still concerned about that, but again, we'll wait and see what happens next week. The good news is that he's out of the office on Tuesday, so I'll go in Monday instead. Only 6 days instead of 7. :)

I can't help but be a little disappointed. I really would have liked to meet my baby girl this week. I'm just so ready. The last couple of weeks have gotten really tough. It's hard to see the end in sight, even though it's so close. And I'm so tired of people always calling and asking questions and wanting updates. My mom is even doing this! As if I wouldn't call her when I went into labor!

Anyway, I'm just tired. I think I need a nice nap. I'm going to try to leave work early and get some rest tonight. It's been an emotional week, and now I'm in for another one. Pea is stubborn, just like her parents. I guess she's just comfy in there. I can't blame her I guess - although I did have a little chat with her on the way home from the doctor's. I'm trying to convince her that she wants to come out - so far it's not working.