Ava Update

I guess it's been a month since I last posted. Time sure does fly now! I can't believe baby Ava is already over 2 months old and I'm more than halfway done with my leave from work. How can that possibly be???

Ava is doing great. She is really thriving and developing a little personality - although she can be somewhat stubborn! She's fussy a lot less than before, but definitely still has her moments! I think it's better mostly because now she usually goes to bed between 8 and 9, whereas before it was between 10 and 11. And she was always fussy in the evenings. So now it's getting easier. And she'll sit contently in her swing or bouncy seat for periods up to 30 minutes or so now when she's awake. That helps out too. I feel like I have a little more of a life now.

Her evening sleeps are going great. She's up to 7 - 9 1/2 hours in the first stretch. I actually prefer her to wake up at 4 or 5, because then she'll go back to sleep for a few hours. She slept from 8:30 to 6:00 the other night, but was ready to be awake for the day when she woke up since the sun was starting to come out. She's a good little night sleeper! Not so much so during the day - she only has cat naps and one "good" nap that lasts from 1 1/2 to 3 hours.

Her doctor's appointment was last Tuesday. I was worried about the shots, but no need to. She was already crying from something else during the appointment, so when they stuck the needles in, she just continued to cry. And her cry didn't change to a more painful one - it was the same, normal cry. And she calmed down almost immediately afterwards. No fever later, had a great night's sleep - so all was good. I was so worried about pulling the little band-aids off her legs and left them on for two days. Finally on Thursday I saw that they were not loosening at all, so I pulled them off - no reaction at all. She didn't even notice.

She is now 10 pounds, 12 ounces (she was 7 lbs, 15 oz at 2 weeks) and is 23 inches. She's definitely not getting her height from me! She's in the 75% percentile. She has a very long, lean torso. Some of her 0-3 month clothes are too tight, so she's already wearing some 3-6 month clothes. They are baggy around the legs and arms, but the length fits (as long as it is not pants). My baby is getting so big!

That's my update. Sorry I haven't posted much!

A Super-Quick Update

Just wanted to let Blog-world know that Ava and I are still here and alive. Unfortunately I have been so busy with her, and blogs have just fallen in the line of priorities lately. Taking a shower and washing bottles seem to be the goals for the day!

Things are going well, but taking care of a little one definitely is hard work! I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I won't lie and say it hasn't been a struggle. There are some days I still cry just because I don't know what to do - and nothing seems right. But Ava has been very good for the most part. She has her nights down and sleeps pretty well. I don't think she cries excessively at all. She doesn't nap well during the day though, thus the reason I am never here. And it's very hard to keep a 1-month old entertained.

Each day I get to know her better though, and each day gets a little easier. I'm happy and I couldn't ask for anything better. She is truly a joy and I love her more and more each day - although I always think I can't possibly love her more - then I find a way!

On Monday afternoon she smiled back at me several times in a row, assuring me it wasn't just gas. My heart melted and all the struggles were forgotten once again. Those moments definitely outweigh the bad ones!

I hope everyone is well and I'm sorry for the lack of posting and blog reading. I think of you all!

Ava's Birth Story

After a stressful morning of waiting on Wednesday, the 13th, I finally got a room in the hospital so I could be induced. After calling at 5:30 a.m., 8:00 a.m., 10:00 a.m. and noon, I was told to come right in. Of course even though I had been ready all morning, we still scrambled to get everything together and load the car. We got to the hospital at about 1:00.

We spent the first hour or so just doing paper work and hanging around the room. John was bored and I kept warning him the day would be very boring, as inductions could take a very long time. The doctor also checked me in the first hour and said I was still 2 cm dilated and about 80% effaced. He thought it would take between 12 and 24 hours. The L&D nurse was more optimistic and said I'd have the baby that day, before her shift ended at 10:00.

At about 2:15 p.m., they hooked up the IV and monitors and started the pitocin. I was having some mild contractions I couldn't feel before the pitocin even started, so that was encouraging. At about 3:30 I was checked again, and I was 3 cm dilated. The nurse and my doctor were encouraged that everything was moving along well. And since my doctor was there, he decided to break my water.

This is when things started happening - at least in the pain department. The actual breaking of the water wasn't too bad (except for the constant gushes and feeling like you're soaking the entire bed), but immediately afterwards, the contractions started coming on strong. They were coming about every 3 minutes, and they were painful immediately. I didn't expect that at all. So they started getting ready for the epidural - I don't even remember them asking if I was ready. And at 4:00, after only 30 minutes of painful contractions, I got my epidural. I'm sorry, but the epidural is the only way to go. Within 3 contractions, I could barely feel them anymore. It was wonderful. I felt so much better and it made things so much easier at that point. I couldn't have imagined going much longer without it. That's great that some women do, but not me.

So around 5:30 or so, I got checked again. This time I was at 5 cm, so they felt like everything was going really well and progressing fine. The only concern was that the baby still had not dropped. She was still -2 station - just where she had been for weeks and weeks. So I got checked again around 7:00 - and things weren't so great. I was still 5 cm and -2 station. At that point my doctor told me that he was pretty sure that a c-section was the way to go at this point. We had talked about it so much before anyway, so I wasn't too worried about it. He just didn't think she was going to fit through my pelvis. Even if her head got through, he was worried about her shoulders too. But he decided to just monitor 3 more contractions and see if I was truly in hard labor, and if I was, then we go to the c-section.

After 3 contractions, they saw that I was in hard labor, so they took off the pitocin and we decided to go for the c-section. At about 7:30 I was checked again by the L&D nurse, and lo and behold - I was all of a sudden 7 cm on my own, without the pitocin. But she was pretty sure the baby was still very high. So she called the doctor in again and he confirmed that I was 7 cm (which they thought was weird), but that she was still as high up as before, so we should move forward as planned.

Another woman ended up needing an emergency c-section at that time, so I had to wait a couple of more hours before I could be wheeled into surgery - by then I had John, my Mom and two girlfriends there to keep me company. It was nice because they could all just hang out in my room and we watched the American Idol results to pass the time. At about 9:30, they were ready for me.

I guess the c-section was pretty standard. It was soooo cold in the OR though and I shivered and cried the whole time. I didn't feel that nervous, but I guess I was a little bit. I was just so cold too, and I think that made me cry as well - probably all of the drugs too. John sat and held my hand and I was glad when I asked the doctor behind me if they had started cutting yet and he said they had - I definitely didn't feel it. I knew to wait for a big push on the higher part of my stomach - they said when that happens, they are pushing the baby out through the incision. Soon enough, they told me I was about to feel pressure and they did the big push - shortly after, I heard my baby cry and she was born at 10:14 p.m.

It was hard laying there not seeing and knowing what was going on. They finally cleaned her and then brought her around to a nurse that was on my side of the sheet, so I could at least see the nurse's back and knew my baby was right there. John finally got to watch too. He stood watching the nurse and she told us we had a beautiful baby. John turned to me and nodded and said "yes, she really is". It was the sweetest moment.

After what seemed like an eternity, John was finally able to pick her up and bring her to me - of course I couldn't touch her at that point as I was still being worked on, but I got to see her. She was beautiful. We posed for a picture and then John and I quickly agreed on the name - Ava Day. And then John went out to make the announcement to everyone waiting and to snap nursery pictures while she was being weighed and measured. She was 7 pounds, 6.4 ounces and 20 inches long.

So what had started as a bad day turned into the best day of our lives as our daughter was born. I finally got to hold her around midnight and it was the most precious memory in the world. I couldn't believe she was ours and that she was the little Chickpea that grew in my tummy all this time - and that she was finally here. And that she was perfect. Everything I have ever gone through with infertility and miscarriages was all brought to a sudden end and to an understanding - as my mom's friend said, it just took God awhile to give us the perfect baby.

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

So far today has sucked. I felt pretty confident I would go into the hospital this morning - especially because my doctor was confident about it. So I woke up at 5:00 this morning (not that I slept much anyway) and started getting ready because I knew I needed more time if I had to be there by 7:00 once I called at 5:30. So by 5:30 I was showered and had washed and dried my hair.

I called up L&D at the hospital - too busy to take me yet. Call back at 8:00 for a time. Uggggg! I was so upset. So John and I tried to get more sleep, but that was hard - I got about 30 more minutes. I got out of bed again at 7:00 and went ahead and finished getting ready in case they said to come in right away when I called again.

I called again at 8:00 - still too busy. They said they would call me when they knew what time to tell me. I wasn't satisfied by that so I said "and what time should I call you if I don't hear anything?" And they said 10:00. So now I have another 30 minutes to sit here until my next call. I feel sickly and miserable and tired. It's very depressing.

Why is there so much waiting with pregnancy??? So frustrating. I'm glad they haven't flat out told me "no" regarding today, but I'm still not optimistic I will get in yet. I still have a glimmer of hope though. I just feel like all I will do today is sit by the phone and call every 2 hours just to hear "not yet". I wish Pea would get frustrated too and just decide to start coming on her own - then they have to take me!

That's my whining. I just feel so teased right now. Maybe we didn't have to worry about Pea being born on the 13th after all!

Please send me "admission vibes"!!!

Signs Revisited

Many months ago, I blogged about opening a fortune cookie right before I found out I was pregnant. Inside the cookie was the following fortune:

When the flowers bloom, so will great joy in your life.

Four days after opening that cookie, I found out I was pregnant with Pea and due in the spring. I knew it was a sign. I believe in signs. I'm not totally superstitious or anything, but I definitely felt it was a sign that everything would be ok. It didn't ease my fears or anything, but I saved it for Pea's scrapbook and always remember it.

Yesterday I had another sign. When I was at the doctor's office, he scheduled my induction date and then looked at the calendar and noticed it would be on the 13th. He immediately asked if the 13th was ok with me and if I was superstitious. I really don't care about her being born on the 13th too much (although I didn't want her to be born on a prime number or an odd number - a weird thing about me I can deal with that I just couldn't mention!), so I said it was ok.

When I called John on the way home from the doctor, I mentioned the 13 thing. At first he didn't catch on, but then he started to get weird about it and was wondering if we should change it. But no way was I changing it at that point. It's not like she would actually be born on Friday the 13th. And who knows - we could last until the 14th (although I hope not for my sake). Anyway, we just let it be and decided to go forward with the plans.

Well at lunch time, I went with a couple of friends and we decided to buy lottery tickets afterwards. I felt I needed to anyway because it had been my lucky week so far (winning a raffle for a trip to Steamboat and getting Pea's date scheduled), so I wanted to buy some too. Plus one of the Lotto drawings is on the 13th and I figured I should buy one for that day. I went ahead and also bought a few scratch-off tickets just for fun.

The first scratch-off ticket I scratched was a $1 ticket. I read the instructions and it had one lucky number you scratch and then four other numbers that you try to match to it. So I scratched the lucky number first, and lo and behold - it was 13! I said to my co-worker that I was surely going to win. And guess what? 3 of the 4 other numbers to match were 13's. I won $10 on the ticket! I don't think I'll ever cash it though. I think it's going in the baby book. After that silly scratch-off, I am totally confident that tomorrow is Pea's day.

Funny how the little signs in life can give you so much comfort! I just thought it was a neat story. It even wigged John out a bit!

A Date is Set!

Well, I went to the doctor again today and as expected, no change and no drop! Still dilated 2 cm, still 65% effaced, and still -2 station. Pea hasn't dropped a bit! But I could tell that.

So I was escorted back into Dr. L's office to once again discuss my options since we were now at the 40 week mark (well, one day short). The baby's weight comes into play again. We know she was around 7 pounds last week, but with a gain of 1/2 a pound a week, she could be 8 pounds by next week. Dr. L thinks that I could deliver a 7-pound baby ok, but he has his doubt about anything over 8.

So I had a choice - induce this week or wait to see what happens by next Monday (and then induce if nothing). Let me think about that a second...let's induce! I'm ready. So ready. And John can be here. And it just all works out. So he called the hospital to see if Wednesday or Thursday would be good (he's out tomorrow) and Wednesday was pretty open - only 1 other induction scheduled. So I'm on the list for Wednesday the 13th. If for some reason everyone goes into labor Tuesday night I may not get in, but he doubts it will be an issue. So Pea could be here Wednesday. Yikes!!!!

Dr. L thinks I have about a 50% chance of a c-section, but he'll try to induce and go vaginally first. He doesn't want to just resort to a c-section. I am totally good with that. He promised not to make me go too long if it's not working. So we'll see what happens.

I'm a bit freaked out - in a good way. I'm excited, nervous, happy, scared - everything. All fears are out the window for the moment and I don't even mind the tons of emails and phone calls I've been getting all morning. I have also decided that today is my last day of work. I'm taking tomorrow off as a "relax and last minute planning" day. I really just can't concentrate anyway, so I'll take a vacation day to finish up last minute chores and just rest. My mom decided to take it off too now - she's as useless as I am today.

So that's the scoop! I can't wait - Pea will be in my arms this week. Yeaaaaa!

Two days till DD - still here!

Just dropping in to say that I'm still here! I'm still not showing many signs that it might change in the near future. Pea still seems to be very high by the way I'm carrying her. I had a couple of contractions on Friday night, but they went away almost as fast as they came and I haven't had anything since. I'm totally ok though - I'm much more calm about it and now I actually want to make it to my due date.

Tomorrow is my 40 week (really 39w6d) appointment, so we'll see what Dr. L. has to say about everything. I'll check back in then.

If I do disappear, Carrie is my labor buddy and I'll call her and give her updates on what is going on. So she will have all the details when it's time.